Grief is unchartered territory. Your heart is a courageous pioneer.
The Dark Island chapter in Voyage of the Dawn Treader is when Caspian and his crew are headed for the island thinking it is where their dreams are brought to life, but it is where their worst nightmares belong. I feel like Lucy as she remembers her nightmares and hopes they make it out before it becomes a reality. But as the darkness closes in Lucy whispers, “Aslan, if you ever loved us at all, send help now.”
A flicker of light in the shape of a cross appears and then grows stronger. It’s an albatross that circles the mast and flies ahead of the boat to lead the way through darkness. Lucy knows this is Aslan because she knows his voice and feels the warmth of his breath on her face as he whispers “Courage, dear heart.”
We crashed upon our own Dark Island in December 2014 when our first daughter, Everly, was born. She was diagnosed in utero with Osteogenesis Imperfecta, also known as “brittle bones disease.” When she was born she had over 50 broken bones in her body. We cherished our three weeks with her, but eventually had to make the decision to let her be with Jesus. We miss her every day.
The thing is, we weren’t abandoned with our nightmares. During those days the Holy Sprit was heavy and we were prayed for by so many who love us. Some days get easier and others you’re buried by waves of grief.
Pioneer Heart is a response to my grief. It’s a passion project that is a reflection of a mama’s love for her baby. Its an outreach to someone else who is just as broken as me.